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What Does An Emotionally Available Partner Feel Like?
Before my ex blindsided me with a breakup, I was blissfully ignorant that he was totally emotionally unavailable. I thought he was just like a lot of men and had difficulties talking about his emotions. But he didn’t just struggle with talking about his emotions, he had almost no vocabulary to describe his inner world. This left me shut out and unable to connect with him fully because he was seldom vulnerable with me.
I didn’t know at the time that he was so emotionally unavailable but I have learned this heartbreaking discovery since doing lots of work in therapy and dating other men. I am beginning to realise how just how emotionally unavailable he was.
When we were dating I did not know what an emotionally available, present and committed partner felt like. I still don’t fully know, although I have more clarity than before. I know emotional unavailability feels like there are secrets, things are left unsaid, there is a great deal of silence or one-sided conversations and a lack of firm commitment.
He was so secretive about his inner world, as evidenced by his abrupt ending of our relationship. For me, the breakup came out of the blue but I am certain he had thought about ending our relationship for a long time. Unfortunately, he kept his…
