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Why Do Breakups Feel So Shameful and Embarrassing?

These feelings can be excruciating

Katy.C
5 min readApr 15, 2023
Photo by Maksym Kaharlytskyi on Unsplash

Breakups are painful, but they are also common. Everyone will most likely experience at least one, if not a couple. But god, they hurt. They are rarely ever peaceful and amicable, often traumatic and always painful.

Is there anything more painful than someone telling you they don’t want to be you? Does rejection get any more personal?

It’s excruciating and all the feelings can feel overwhelming and isolating, despite breakups being a common and universal human experience.

I felt so much shame and embarrassment after my ex ended our relationship one night. Shame, because I had failed at sustaining a relationship and I did not see the breakup coming, and embarrassment that I wanted to commit and marry him when he didn’t.

Why do breakups feel so shameful and embarrassing?

Relationships end all the time, including friendship. I have lost count of the number of friends I have lost. You would think that by now I had grown accustomed to losing people from life. But a romantic breakup and a friendship breakup are different, although both can be painful. Friendship breakups hold less shame and embarrassment. They are quiet events and are less public than romantic breakups.

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Katy.C
Katy.C

Written by Katy.C

Lawyer by day, writer by night. Healing my heart word by word. I write about traumatic breakups, heartbreak and dating

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